The Coopsters @thecoopsters@angrytoday.com

CCTV Manufacturer Under Fire For The Way In Which Black People Always Appear To Be Up To 'No Good': "This young black man may be headed to his grandma's house for cookies and milk, but unfortunately, this company's racist product makes him look suspicious." [UPDATE: Young man in video just finished killing 2 kids for asking how tall he was.]

"Freeeeeeeeeeedom!"

TimeTech's Latest Hire Asked The One Question That's Been On Everyone's Mind Since The Product Was Perfected: "If I go to the office at time when sexual harassment wasn't 'a thing', will I be reprimanded upon returning to this timeline?"

Racist.

Big Tech Censorship Has Local Area Man Upset He Can't Find Any Good Misinformation On The Web Anymore

Local Hippy Appears To Have Not Read The Memo: "People who define themselves as 'hippies' are allowed to contribute food, drugs, and music to society. On all other matters, they must simply shut the fuck up."

Millennial Suspects He'll Have To "Cross His Fingers" Harder If He Wants To Make It In This World

"Listen up. So DARPA plans to provide this 'Internet' doohickey to the masses. Our job is to engineer a public communication space, make it popular, and then build an army of bots that will ruthlessly attack anyone with energy/inspiration, thus effectively ostracizing them from society. In doing so, we'll instill fear in those remaining, and then leverage their cowardice for the purpose of having them blindly promote our agenda. We got 25 years to get this done, so let's get to work everybody."

@niclas Neat. Every morning, I slog over to the chicken coop to let the laydies out. Be there by 8:30am else the roosters get mad! Regardless of the time, they are always all jammed up against the door like "let us out!" Then, after the evening dog walk, when everyone has put themselves to bed, I sneak over and close their door--listening as they "ZzzzZzzz coo coo coo coo ZzzzZzzz."

Coopters Gold
Limited Edition Series

Man In Crowd Didn't Expect To See So Many 'Hot Bitches' Out For A Stroll On A Thursday Afternoon

Comic Genius Shocked Friend's Daughter Didn't Appreciate His Joke About A Black Guy Raping A Paraplegic Asian Whore

The Coopsters Wonders If Puberty Blockers Can Help Squelch His Constant, Massive Hardon

Google AI Unsure What To Do With The Fact That There Are Men In The World That Would 'Stick [Their] Dick In [Her]'

mRNA Addicted Youth Who No Longer Experience 'The Rush' Of Social Acceptance Are Now Mixing This Gateway Drug With Transgender Posturing In A Concoction Known As A 'DickBall': "After I shoot up this vaccine booster and right as I'm peaking, saw my dick off!"

Kanye West Canceled By Juan Gomez's Helado Business: "Señor Oeste dijo palabras muy malo. No me gusta."

The World Economic Forum Ready For The Upcoming Right Wing Shift In Politics: "We're happy to announce the 'Jesus Tracker'. It allows us to monitor your love of our Lord and best of all, it will be conveniently integrated with your bank account."

Paternity Test Reveals Prince Andrew Fathered Hunter Biden

Poll Reveals Majority Of Americans 'Sick And Tired' Of Asians, Their Imperialistic Aims Within The 64-Bit Unicode Space, And The Ridiculously Large Keyboards They Require To Say 'We So Horny'