Long Time Gaia Viewer Has Revelation About Gaia's Revelation: "Holy shit, Tim's legit."

Canadian Health Department Releases New Series Of Ads Promoting State Assisted Euthanasia: "You'll have to die sooner or later, why not get it over with now."

Man Doesn't Understand Why A Square, A Circle, And Then A Collection Of Straight Lines At Various Angles Is Considered 'Hateful'

Anti-Semitic Twitter Can't Stop Kanye West From Showing The World That The Nazis Are Smaller Than The Great Nation Of Israel

Conductor Certain 'This Old Girl' Will Tokyo Drift Just Fine On The Next Bend

Pilot Decides Today Is The Day To See If 'This Baby' Can Do A Barrel Roll

Local Police Are Reporting Significant Delays On All Ferries Traveling To And From Port Hallock And The Outer Bank Islands And Are Asking Commuters To Find Other Means Of Travel This Evening And Possibly Tomorrow Morning

"If it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's probably the FBI."

Local Police Are Reporting Longer Than Usual Delays On McGregor Blvd And Asks All North Bound Commuters To Use Colbert Ave Instead

US Troops Enjoying A Little R&R Exploring Ancient Sumerian Ruins Which Is In No Way Related To The Tomb Of Gilgamesh, The Tower Of Babel's Stargate Technology, The Portals At Skin Walker Ranch, The Mayan Predication Of The 2012 Failure Of Project Looking Glass, The Biefeld-Brown B2 Bombers, The True Meaning Of Elohim, Yahweh, The Watchers Of Enoch, UFOs, And The UN's 2030 Agenda

Coopsters Consultancy, LLC Hired By The World Economic Forum To Develop A Better Strategy To Reach The Hearts And Minds Of The Masses: "You have to you realize you are no different than the people you are trying to enslave. Thus, no one gives a shit about minorities, the environment, being 'moral', etc. All anyone cares about is big titties in their face. So stop being a creep and start talking about bouncin' boobi-licious bajungas."

Pothole Believes Society Should Worry About Fixing Itself First, Considers Himself Part Of The Resistance

Serbian President Or Prime Minister Or Whatever Tired Of Americans Lumping His Country Into The "Anonymous Eastern Euro, Black Leather Jacket, Smokin' Hot Bitches, Kill Their Babushka For A Pair Of Blue Jeans, Did This Country Exist During WW2?, Yugo Driving, Definitely Russia's Bitch In Some Way, Adidas Track Suit Wearin',...Did We Already Mention Porn Star Level Women?, Language Name Is Some Obvious Variation On The Country's Name, Who The Fuck Gives A Shit The Weather Sucks" Category

CIA Raids Wedding Magazine's Headquarters After Latest Issue Reveals Advanced Bridal Technology Capable Of Disrupting US Matrimonial Hegemony

Austin Police Thought The Three Hour Standoff With Unhinged Gunman Would Continue Through The Evening, But That All Changed When Off-Duty Detective Coopsters Happened Upon On The Scene And Shocked Both Friend And Foe With His Patented 'Dick First' Approach To Every Dangerous Situation: "If I'm unsure how a piece of heavy machinery works, I approach it dick first. So when I heard shots being fired, my instincts kicked in, I pushed my pelvis out and I let God guide my dick like a dowsing rod."

Officer Gilford Was Looking At Life In Prison For Shooting The Wilson Girls, But As Luck Would Have It, A Passerby Came Forward With A Photo Taken Moments Prior To Their Deaths That Corroborated Officer Gilford's Testimony: "The younger of the two was obviously professionally trained in Muay Thai. Fortunately, I was able to deflect most of her offensive attacks, but with the older one on my 6, I had only one option: unload 2 clips into the back of their heads execution-style."

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