Master Ascetic Realizes Drugs, Sex, And Rock&Roll A Much Faster Route To Enlightenment

Man Still Believes 'Having A Career' The Best Way To Save His Soul

"It is true that, historically, the negro has been put to work double penetrating our white women. However, let us not be narrow minded, the negro is also well suited to spit roasting our women. I hope this clears up any concerns you all may have regarding my latest venture: Negro SexFarm™."

Castle Därtürńiæn's Cheap Sale Price Finally Made Sense To Doug Upon Returning Home From Work After The Year's First Snow

Latest Diet Fad Promotes Eating Only Organic, Locally Sourced, Free Range, Gluten-Free, Fair Trade, Vegan, Kosher Foods

Nearly Empty Tube Of KY Jelly Wishes Owner Would Fuck Hotter Bitches

Glasses Of Red Wine Hope Drinkers Enjoy The Anal Sex They Were Discussing Over The First Half Of The Bottle

Captain Maverick Regrets Staying Up All Night Doing Shots And Talking 'Hella Shit' About The Enemy's Talent

Recent Renovations To NYC's Laguardia's Terminal F Offers 'Rural-Feel' To Customers

Radiology Student Shocked To Learn Ultra Sound Breast Scans Aren't A Legitimate Form Of Pornography: "I knew the scans would be in black and white, but this is ridiculous!"

American Talent Scout Heard Desperation In Sven Larson's Voice And Attributed It To His Need To Relocate To A Latitude Less Than FUCKING° COLD'

Social Media Prodigy Known For Posting In All Caps And Appending 'FUCKING FAGGOT' To Every Line

Intellectuals Are Too Racist To Make Significant Contributions To Woke Science

Doctor Can't Believe The Coopsters Penetrated Her Fallopian Tubes

Doctor Can't Believe Other Humans Are Conscious And Can Actually Feel Pain

Doctor Can't Believe He Forgot There Is No Such Thing As Death

Woman Relieved To Learn She Doesn't Have Breast Cancer: "I made a promise to myself that if the diagnosis came back negative I'd ignore the fact that my vagina bleeds black viscous blood and that I wince in pain every time I urinate, defecate, and...well, basically just sit."

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