The Coopsters @thecoopsters@angrytoday.com

International Warlord Community Showing Interest In Kazakhstan As Of Late, With Many Members Commenting On How 'Juicy' And 'Ripe For The Taking' It Appears

Germans At It Again, Can't Seem To Chill Out On The Crematoriums

The Future The Coopsters Wan...Is Living.

Nancy Pelosi Places $5 Million Las Vegas Bet Trump Gets Indicted By The DOJ She's In Control Of

Little Known Fact: Prior To Being The World's Leading Dick Pick Influencer/Expert/Connoisseur/Theorist, The Coopsters Was A Member Of The Police Before They Got Big

The Coopsters Just Happened To Be At Mar-A-Lago, Just Happened To Be In Possession Of An FBI Jacket, Just Happened To Be Wearing Cool Sunglasses, And Just Happened To Know Where Ivanka Keeps The Dick Pics He Sends Her: "The American public needs to see my American pubic."

"Look here. You see those families in the park? To make a name for yourself in this game, you're going to have to kill innocents. No one respects an 'Angel of Death' that only mortars enemy combatants. The blood of the innocent must fill the skies -- their raining blood is your reign of terror."

January 6th Committee Upset FBI Stole The Show From Them: "The Mar-a-Lago raid has come at the absolute worst time for us as Day 37 of our inquiry was going to release some blockbuster evidence."

Twitter Is Gearing Up For What Is Expected To Be The Largest Censorship Push Since The Hunter Biden Laptop Coverup: "We have been instructed by the FBI to ban anyone who questions whether or not the evidence found at Trump's estate was planted."

Former President Trump Arrested After FBI Raid Of His Mar-A-Lago Estate Uncovered Classified Documents Detailing Hilary Clinton's Illegal Storage Of Classified Documents At Her Estate

Company Executives Willing To Turn A Blind Eye To Female Employee's Tardiness As She's An Indispensable Member Of The Team

The Smithsonian Museum, In Partnership With The Epstein-Gates Society For Antiquities, Are Proud To Present An Americana Collection Featuring What Scholars Believe To Be The First New World Dick Pick

Polish President, Andrzej Duda, Taunts Zelensky On The 1-in-100 Million Chance Ukraine Invades And His Country Wins The American 'Bleeding Heart' Jackpot: "There isn't a single Eastern European country that doesn't dream of winning the Raytheon/Lockheed-Martin Powerball Lottery."

Former Trans Transformer Wishes The Decepticons Never Made Her Feel Uncomfortable In Her Semitruck Model: "Gotta admit though, it was nice having a massive Hemi under the hood."

Katherine Lamented Her Nostalgia For The Days When Boys Gave Girls Mixtapes So The Coopsters Surprised Her With A 15 Disc Box Set Of His Greatest Dick Pics

Mexican Cartels About To Make Mexico City Less Diverse With Their Plan To Reduce The 'Uppity Gringo' Population

The Cock That Broke The Camel's Toe

Google CEO Wades Through 174,000 Dick Pics Submitted By Employees In Response To Recent Internal Survey: "While I'm shocked not a single employee takes our company's performance seriously, I was utterly bewildered by the fact that all those dick pics were of the same dick!"

Trevor Glandenson, VP of Internal Micronesian Global Office Sales And Development Strategies For The Greater Outer Region

Patrons Of World's Largest Library Upset To Discover A Lack Of Material In The Genera Of 'Gnarly Ass Porn'