The Coopsters @thecoopsters@angrytoday.com

Stone Throwin' Home Owner Soon To Pay A Heavy Price

Fat Fuck Claims To Be The Reincarnation Of L. Ron Hubbard

@ademan You'd be impressed by what is required to penetrate both her lower and upper intestines.

Doctor Can't Believe The Coopsters Penetrated Her Fallopian Tubes

Doctor Can't Believe Other Humans Are Conscious And Can Actually Feel Pain

Doctor Can't Believe He Forgot There Is No Such Thing As Death

Doctor Can't Believe He Forgot To Go To Medical School

Woman Relieved To Learn She Doesn't Have Breast Cancer: "I made a promise to myself that if the diagnosis came back negative I'd ignore the fact that my vagina bleeds black viscous blood and that I wince in pain every time I urinate, defecate, and...well, basically just sit."

Father Coopsters Was A Devout Cocktholic, A Dick Fearing Man

Jebadiah Coopsters Made His Fortune Filming And Distributing 'Abandoned Mine Pornography': "It's not the mine that runs dry, it's your creativity."

@Humpleupagus Thank god I'm everywhere Fauker.

US Launches 'Peace Keeping' Mission In Zimbabwe

@Matty What about us whities?

@mushroom_soup China is a myth. It doesn't exist. The idea was created by the CIA to make us work harder in fear of losing our jobs to a bunch of small dicked yellow humanoids. Don't be so gullible.

Sheriff Poopsters Died Tragically While Executing An Internal Affairs Arrest Warrant Against His Brother Deputy Coopsters For An Illegal Brothel He Owned, Operated, And Fanatically Tested For Quality Assurance

Coopsters Gold
Limited Edition Series

In The 1920s, The Coopsters Was Loved By All: "So this big titty bitch walks over to ask me a question. All I hear are her milk jugs jostlin' for position, so naturally I go 'brrr' and motorboat her breasts. Then she asks: 'Do you remember fathering my 15 children?'"

Nation's Sluts Hope 'Someone Cute' Rapes Them Tomorrow Evening

The Coopsters' Birth Name Is 'Thug Dirt Awesome': Known For Rolling A Cartoon Of Cigarettes Up His Sleeve, Wearing Anywhere From 0 To 15 Leather Jackets At Any One Time, Constantly Bleeding From Both Eyes (With One Eye Made Of Glass And Containing What Is Believed To Be Another Universe Within), Dipped In So Much Ink That Corpse Limbs Have Been Surgically Attached To Increase Tattable Surface Area -- But With A Real Anchor Welded To His Chest, And More STDs Than Modern Science Has Cataloged

The Coopsters Met North Middlebury Librarian Online And They 'Rolled Around In The Stacks' This Evening Even Though To His Dismay She Looked Nothing Like Her Profile Pic.

In Other News: South Middlebury Librarian Heart Broken To Be Stood Up.